i woke up at 2:30 on sunday morning (2 days past my due date) because i had to pee...again. and i was having contractions. but i'd had braxton hicks my entire pregnancy. no kidding. so i tried to go back to sleep. but couldn't because those suckers hurt! so i watched t.v. and cleaned a couple of toilets and walked around the quiet house. i woke john paul up around 5:30 and told him we would be going to the hospital. he showered, our friends came over to stay with the sleepers until my mom/neices could get here. i was thinking i would have him naturally, but after the jacuzzi and the excercise ball and the midwife breaking my water, i wasn't progressing. at all. they did an ultrasound, found out the baby was posterior (face up) and was stuck. he was stuck good. and it was killing. "this does not feel like my other labors." so i asked for an epidural. i think i yelled at the nurse anesthetist. and maybe the midwife. don't ask me questions during contractions, people. c'mon. my mom was there. it was crazy how she helped me to calm down so quickly. i pushed for an hour (in some pretty funky positions) but still nothing. so they called in another doctor and they quickly decided they would have to vacuum the little guy out (and if this had been my 1st baby, or 2nd, or 3rd, it would have been a c-section, they tell me.) i don't know if the drugs weren't working or what, but the vacuum deal freaking hurt! and right when his little head popped out, (and only his head, mind you) the doc's face dropped, and he asked the nurse for something (i didn't hear what) now! and he had to cut the umbilical right then! it was wrapped around his scrawny neck twice! (p.s. when he cut, blood squirted all over the doc's neck and scrubs. it was like a horror movie. awesome.) so they scooped the baby up and sent him over to the nurses and he wasn't crying or moving and i asked the midwife if i could hold him, but the nurses called in more nurses and one said "no" because they are "bagging him" and he's "retracting". i was nervous, but they were all really calm while they whisked him away to the nicu. where he stayed for 3 days because of "respiratory distress". poor tiny baby. we couldn't touch him the first day because he was "coasting". that made me want to cry. but we were finally released late tuesday (or was it wednesday?) and had a doctor's appointment on friday, where they discovered he was severly jaundiced (20). so we were readmitted to the hospital for 2 or 3 days. then he had to have his blood drawn every dumb day to make sure it kept going down. it didn't. it's low enough now that he's not considered in any danger, but they basically said, "we don't know what's wrong." he is sweet and tiny and perfect. and we are all in love. i mean, look at that face. and way to scare your mommy to death, kid. not cool, eliot. not cool.